By: Floben Dale Moro
It’s funny how we give meaning to things we can’t explain. Chess pieces on the board placed at random won’t mean a thing. On the other hand, a player can clearly rememner where every piece was even if the board gets knocked down. We can recognize things more easily when they mean something to us. if I ask you what the color pink means to you, you could come up with a few ideas- some may be significant, others trivial, But for me, the meaning of the color pink came because something happened to me, something that I can’t explain but gave me a message that I clearly understood. I and a few of my classmates formed a s mall band. Being a girl did not stop from being rock star. I loved to hang out with my friends, go places, drink, smoke, stay late at night . We are definitely teenagers – carefree, young, and universe.
Our drummer’s house became a usual hangout place of us. It’s in a subdividion where people know their neighbors only by their last names. There, people don’t bother each other very much. Houses are surrounded by tall walls that prevent anyone from seeing even the roof of the next house. One afternoon, an emergency practice session was called at Adam’s house. I arrived there at around 6 pm. No one was there yet except for Adam, our drummer, the owner of the house. I found him sitting on the floor, trying to fix the amplifiers, again. “Ano’ng sira ng amps? I asked him. He turned around. As soon as he saw me, he started complaining. He said he was hearing noise from the amplifiers even when the guitar cables aren’t plugged in. He said the cables were good. The noise sounded more like weak radio signal, he added. When I still couldn’t understand what he was saying, he demonstrated what he meant. He plugged the cable into the amplifier but it didn’t produce any sound, he got irritated, he almost threw the thing out. I told him to take a break and grab some air outside. So he went out. He said he’ll just grab some snacks at the bakery a few meters from their house. I was left alone in Adam’s room. Being alone, I took the freedom to fix the amplifiers though I don’t really know much about those things. I saw down on the floor to have a closer look. I tightened the screws, turned the knobs, plugged the cables in and out, turned the amplifier on and off, watched the small red light turn on and off, and repeated the process over and over. Finally, I got tired of doing the same things without any progress whatsover. I looked out the window and saw the sky slowly turning into dark violet. The streets were then flooded with orange light coming from light posts. A post was positioned near Adam’s house that illuminated part of where I was. Still, it was getting darker in the room. As I pulled my arm away from the amplifier, something caught my bracelet. As I pulled my bracelet from the amplifier, it started to give out a sound. I was so happy and I thought of myself as a genius for I had fixed the amplifier. But then the noise Adam was talking about was still there. It did not sound like a weak radio signal. Instead, it sounded like a voice. I was so baffled and at the same time intrigued about what the voice was saying. The voice was distorted. I could barely understand what the voice was saying. I couldn’t even recognize how many were speaking. It reminded me of a radio announcer from an AM radio station. I entertained myself by trying to figure out what the voice was saying by catching consonants and vowels and combining them into words that would make sense. While I was busying myself with my improvised game, another voice came out. It was clearer than the previous voices. I did not get what it said for it was short, maybe just one syllable. The weaker voice, for what seemed to be a radio announcer, was still mumbling words. I was starting to give up when it suddenly spoke again very clearly. Slowly, I turned up the volume, “Mai…” It said for the third time. The second voice surely got my attention. As if the voice knew, I was listening intently, it started to speak again. “Mai, pakinggan mo ako, “It said. The source of the voice seemed to be shaking and crying and desperate. It started to freak me out but what the voice said next froze me from where I was seated: “Nakikita ko sila. Kinuha nila ako. Ayoko na. Ayoko na… Nakikita ko sila nakapaligid sa’yo.”
The voice said the same words over and over again. I couldn’t move my hands as I listened to the voice . My fingers were stuck to the volume knob. Then from my peripheral vision, I saw a head slowly peeking at me. I was numb, I couldn’t move a muscle. My eyes were drawn to the vision. It looked like a girl and it was staring straight at me. As she moved closer, she was suddenly illuminated by the orange light being cast by the lamp post. I then saw her more clearly- she had pale skin. Beads of sweat and oil formed on her face. No expression could be read from her face. Her expression was a blank. Though no sound came out from her. Her lips were moving in sync with the voice from the amplifier. The words came out faster and faster until suddenly it stopped.
It was all silent but she was still there. She was still staring at my eyes. Then the voices shrieked in an odd voice that sounded like a desperate girl screaming her lungs out. When the girl opened her mouth, blood flowed out and with it something that looked like a fetus fell. The fetus was still alive, I thought, for its limbs were still moving. I was so scared I covered my face with my hands. Just when I thought the worse was over, the voice’s loud scream became the loud feedback of the guitar on the amplifier speakers. I hesitated to open my eyes but when I did, the girl was gone. I still couldn’t move, I didn’t think I wanted to. My mind was still clouded by the event. The creeps still ingered in my spine. It was so strange that screaming wasn’t even appropriate. Worse, I was alone and I couldn’t calm my self. I did not know how long I was sitting there but it was long enough to make Adam’s grandfather get up from his bed and walk all the way to Adam’s room. He found me on the floor, shaking.
He calmed me down and stayed with me while Adam was still away. I told him what happened. Lolo, being old and a believer in spiritual beings, said that he hasn’t seen any spirit like what I had described to him roaming around the house. He said to me that maybe she was someone I knew and was trying to tell something important to me. Sometimes when a person dies, we would not recognize him or her even if his or her spirit is before us. I thought about the voice. I knew I recognized that voice the first time I heard it. What happened was inexplicable but the message it wanted to deliver was clear to me. The next morning, the first thing I did was go to the cemetery.
I visited Clara. She is my cousin. We grew up together. She had an abortion. The complication of the abortion killed her. The voice from the amplifier was hers, I know. Even after life, she never forgot to look after me. That night, she wasn’t there to scare me. She was there to tell me something. She was there to guide me. That morning, I took my boyfriend with me. We both prayed for her soul. After that, we went home. We had a long talk on our way home. When we reached our house. I showed him a stick that showed a pink color, it was a pregnancy test kit signifying a positive. I took Clara’s advice. My boyfriend and I decided to keep our child and raise him or her together.