PINK

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By: Floben Dale Moro

It’s funny  how we  give meaning  to things we can’t  explain. Chess pieces  on the board placed at random won’t  mean a thing.  On the other hand, a player can clearly  rememner where every piece  was even if  the board  gets knocked down. We can recognize  things more  easily when they mean something to us.  if I ask you what  the color  pink  means to  you,  you could come up  with a few ideas- some may be  significant, others  trivial, But for me, the meaning  of the  color pink  came because  something  happened to me,  something  that I can’t explain but gave  me a message  that I clearly understood.  I and a few  of my classmates  formed a s mall band. Being  a girl did not   stop from being rock star.  I loved to  hang out with my friends, go places, drink,  smoke, stay late  at night . We are  definitely  teenagers – carefree, young, and universe.

Our drummer’s  house  became  a usual hangout  place of us. It’s  in a  subdividion where people  know their neighbors only by  their last names. There,  people don’t bother  each other  very much. Houses are surrounded  by tall  walls that prevent  anyone  from seeing even the roof of the next house.  One afternoon, an emergency practice  session was called  at Adam’s  house. I  arrived  there at around  6 pm.  No one  was there  yet  except for Adam, our drummer, the  owner of the house. I found him sitting on the floor, trying  to fix the  amplifiers,  again.  “Ano’ng sira ng amps? I asked him. He turned  around.  As soon as  he saw me, he started complaining. He said he was  hearing  noise  from the amplifiers even when the  guitar cables aren’t plugged in. He said the cables were good. The noise sounded more like weak radio  signal,  he added. When I still couldn’t  understand what he was saying, he demonstrated what he meant. He plugged the cable into the amplifier but it  didn’t  produce  any sound, he got irritated, he almost threw  the thing out. I told  him to take   a break and grab some air outside. So he  went out.  He said  he’ll  just grab some snacks at  the bakery a few  meters  from their house. I was left alone in Adam’s  room.  Being alone, I took the freedom to fix  the amplifiers though I don’t really know  much about those things. I saw down on the floor to have  a closer  look.  I tightened  the  screws, turned  the knobs, plugged  the cables in and out,  turned  the amplifier on and  off, watched the small  red light turn on and off,  and repeated  the process  over and over.  Finally, I got  tired of doing the same things without any progress whatsover. I looked out the window and saw  the sky slowly turning  into dark violet. The streets were then flooded with orange light coming  from light posts.  A post was positioned near Adam’s house that illuminated  part of  where I was.  Still,  it was  getting  darker in the room. As I pulled my  arm away  from the amplifier, something caught my bracelet. As I pulled  my bracelet from the amplifier, it started to give out a sound. I was so  happy and  I thought  of myself  as a genius for I had fixed the amplifier. But then the noise Adam was talking  about was  still there. It did not  sound like  a weak  radio  signal.  Instead, it  sounded like a voice.  I was so baffled  and at the  same time intrigued about what the   voice was  saying. The voice  was distorted. I could barely understand what the voice  was saying.  I couldn’t even  recognize how many were speaking. It reminded me of a  radio  announcer  from an AM radio station. I entertained myself by trying to figure out  what the voice was saying  by catching consonants and vowels and combining  them into  words that would  make sense. While I was  busying  myself with my  improvised game,  another voice  came out. It was clearer than the  previous voices. I did not get what it said for it was short, maybe just one syllable. The weaker voice, for what seemed to be a radio  announcer,  was still  mumbling words. I was starting to give up  when it suddenly spoke again very clearly.  Slowly, I turned up  the volume, “Mai…” It said for the third time. The second voice surely got my attention. As if the voice knew,  I was listening intently, it started to speak again.  “Mai, pakinggan mo ako, “It said. The source of the voice seemed to be  shaking and crying and  desperate. It started to freak me out but what the voice said next froze me from  where I was seated: “Nakikita ko sila. Kinuha nila ako. Ayoko na. Ayoko na… Nakikita  ko sila  nakapaligid sa’yo.”

The voice said the same words over and over again. I couldn’t  move my hands  as I listened to the voice . My fingers  were stuck to the volume  knob.  Then from  my  peripheral  vision,  I saw a head slowly peeking at me.  I was numb, I couldn’t  move a  muscle. My eyes were drawn to the vision. It looked  like a girl and it was  staring straight  at me.  As she moved closer, she was suddenly illuminated by the orange light being cast  by the lamp post. I then  saw her more clearly- she had pale skin. Beads of sweat and oil formed on her face. No expression could be read from her face. Her expression was a  blank.  Though  no sound came out from her.  Her lips  were moving in sync with the  voice from the amplifier. The words came out faster and faster until suddenly it stopped.

It was all silent but she was still there. She was  still staring at my eyes.  Then the voices shrieked in an odd voice  that sounded like a  desperate girl screaming her lungs out.  When the girl  opened her mouth, blood flowed out and with it something that looked  like a fetus fell. The fetus was still alive, I thought,  for its limbs were still  moving. I was  so scared I covered my face with my hands. Just when I thought the worse was over, the voice’s  loud scream became the  loud  feedback of the guitar  on the amplifier  speakers. I hesitated  to open my eyes but  when I did,  the girl was gone. I still  couldn’t  move,  I didn’t  think I wanted to. My mind was still  clouded  by the event.  The creeps  still ingered  in my spine. It was so strange  that screaming  wasn’t  even appropriate. Worse, I was alone  and I couldn’t calm  my self.  I did not know how  long I was sitting there but it was long enough to make  Adam’s  grandfather get up from  his bed and walk all the way to Adam’s  room.  He found   me on the floor, shaking.

He calmed me down and stayed with me while Adam was  still away.  I told him what happened. Lolo,  being old and a believer in spiritual beings, said that he hasn’t seen any spirit like what I had described to him roaming  around the  house. He said to me that maybe she was someone I knew and was trying  to tell something important to me. Sometimes when a person dies,  we would not  recognize him or  her even if his  or her spirit is before us.  I thought about the voice. I knew I recognized that voice  the first time I heard it. What happened  was inexplicable but the message it wanted to deliver  was clear   to me.  The next morning, the first thing  I did was go to the  cemetery.

I visited Clara. She is my cousin. We grew up together. She had an abortion. The complication  of the abortion killed her.  The  voice from the amplifier was hers,  I know.  Even after  life,  she never forgot  to look  after me.  That night,  she wasn’t  there to scare me. She  was there  to tell me something. She  was there  to guide me.  That morning, I took my boyfriend with me.  We both prayed for  her soul. After  that,  we went home. We had a  long talk on our way home.  When we  reached  our house. I showed him a stick that showed a pink color, it was a  pregnancy test kit  signifying   a positive. I took Clara’s advice. My boyfriend and I decided to keep our  child  and raise  him or her together.

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